Empress Xiling Shi, wife of the Yellow Emperor, has just discovered a new material a few days ago that comes from a mulberry bush.
On Sunday, a worried Emperor called Xiling Shi over and asked her to find out what was wrong with his mulberry bush. She went out into the courtyard and discovered white cocoons covering the plant. She plucked one off and accidentally dropped it in warm water. To her surprise, the cocoon unraveled into a long, fine strand. When the Empress spun many of these strands together, they created a soft, glossy fabric called "silk", since it comes from the silkworm. Also, she says, "It can be dyed to create magnificent colors."
The Emperor says that he is very proud of his wife for discovering a new material that can last longer than cotton while still retaining its beauty and shine.
Silk is being produced at this time and should be available to the public within a few weeks. First it will be sold to the nobles, and followed by the middle class.
The Empress expects silk to skyrocket in popularity, and soar way past common materials, like cotton. Although, it will probably only be bought at first from the wealthy folk, since it is so new.
Excellent work. A few small changes...."on Sunday" is repetitive in the first and second paragraphs. Pick one and get rid of the other. Also, you are overusing commas when you have a sentence with compound verbs. Here is an example:
ReplyDelete"She went out into the courtyard, and discovered white cocoons covering the plant." Because the part after the "and" does not have a new subject, you do not need a comma. You simply have two verbs here that are both being used by the subject "She," so no comma is necessary.
ok :)
ReplyDelete